I'm not a custard walker

19/06/08

I’m not a custard walker, I’m a custard walker’s son
I’m only walking custards ‘till the custard walker comes.

Me husband is a custard packer, he’s a very busy man
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,

But sometimes in an evening I feel a trifle dim
All alone, I’m walking custards, when I’d rather walk with him.

I’m not a custard walker, I’m a custard walker’s mate
I’m only walking custards ‘cos the custard walker’s late!

I’m not good at walking custards, at custard walking I tend to fart
Though some custard’s find it sticky I’d rather walk a tart.
Oh walking gateau is gorgeous, I can walk easter eggs
But custard walking torture because they haven’t any legs.

I’m not a custard walker, he’s playing Tennis with his new rackets,
He only walked one custard and I’m sitting here with packets!

You have to walk them fresh, if it’s fresh they’re very tasty,
I knew a man in Dunstable who walked a frozen pastry.
They say the village constable had custard walking sessions
With the vicar on a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons.

I’m not a custard walker, I’m a custard walker’s son
I’m only walking custards ‘till the custard walker comes.

My good friend Godfrey is most adept, he’s really got the knack
He likes to have a custard walk before he hits the sack.
I like to give a helping hand, I gather up the powder,
It’s really all our custard walking keeps us singing loader.

I’m not a custard walker, I’m a custard walker’s friend
I’m only walking custards as a means unto an end!

My husband’s in the kitchen always beating the egg yolks
If he could hear me half the time I’m sure he’d laugh with other folks,
For there’s sugar in all my crannies, there’s vanilla up my nose
And I’m itching in the kitchen from my head down to my toes.

I’m not a custard walker, I’m a custard walker’s wife
And when we walk together it’s a custard walking life!

Theres more on youTube live “Custard walking”